Opps…Totally neglecting the blog, and I return with a slightly more serious post. I will try to post some crack movie reviews soon…(hopefully I can still remember enough details to write something entertaining)
On to the actual post…
I think I have been complaining about my work-life crisis for the past 1 week already, although I have never said it out in details what had brought on this crisis to warrant me considering of switching job.
I work as a Research Coordinator, although I tend to think that it is just a gloried work title, because I feel that the scope of my work feels more like a Research Assistant, but they gave me a nicer title because I had the qualifications to have a nicer title.
When I first began as a RC, I was lucky that the PI for the project did not mind that I had no experience, she just needed another pair of hands to help in the gather of data of the project. I work mostly independently, PI tells me what she wants, and sometimes we discuss how we should go about getting the information, then I do the task that is set out.
Pretty straightforward. 2.5years down the road the project finished, and I was faced with the prospect of being jobless, when I was offered an extension. The original project I was working on has more funding now and will be expending, so they will still be needing a RC to help in the research and evaluation part of the work. So basically I was working with the same ppl, but now I am reporting to someone new because my PI was only doing the research/evaluation for the pilot run.
Sadly with this new project somehow I have lost the original element of doing research. somehow nearly one year into the new project, we still did not have a research question. For a good part of the last year, I was basically sitting around doing nothing, accept rendering help (of non-research related variety) to my colleagues and help fill in the void when our Admin Exec left and her replacement was only coming in one month later.
seems that towards the end of last year my supervisor (i know have a supervisor and a boss, in the past I had 2 bosses (my PI and Co-PI)) kinda suddenly remember or realise that we would be missing a lot of data if we did not start any evaluation related things soon. Which lead me into a “mad scramble” of getting data. However since the ground works for this evaluation and research is not set (I think they totally forgot about it) getting data from related party has became an uphill task.
While juggling with getting new data, I had to make sense of the old data that has already been collected, and somethings there are HOLES that need to be filled by asking our partners or I have to dig to retrospectively for it, which is really a waste of time because half of the time they do not know whether they need the data in the end.
Then comes the fact that because now I am asking for data, my other colleagues had voiced out that it may be taxing for our partners to be giving me extra data among the other data they had to be providing in the first place. BUT in the end when it comes to presenting data and there are HOLES in my data and I get questioned because of it. It becomes one of those “I TOLD YOU SO” situation that I really felt like rubbing it in their face.
And then there is the data churning. The data is there, you tell me what you want and I churn it out. In no way I was trained to make a spin on things. IF you want an angle TELL ME THE ANGLE so I can work something out. The data can be seen in a lot of ways, but I will show you the most straightforward and most of the time not the most positively way because I was trained to just report the stuff as it is.
Hello?! research writing is about report your data as it is and discussing the implication and how can it be improved. Reporting data to funder and putting it in a layman’s term and putting it in a positive light is totally not my job.
To be honest, I always look at the worse result and try to improve on that..which probably will not fly with fund-ers.
And Also I do not know whether you value me for my data churning skills or my field testing skill because I can only do 1 at a time because one is office bound and the other is outfield. So everytime you ask for data remember that I cannot get new data for you!!
Sorry people that are reading, I am just whining and ranting because I am getting bored of this. I thought I was going to try new stuff, but instead i am stuck with the same old things, and new responsibility that I honestly think can be taken up by someone else if you want me to be collecting data. Just because I have a ‘RESEARCH’ in my job title doesn’t mean I need to get saddled with all sort of statistic updated that the admin stuff can easily do.
so Yes. No research end goal in mind (which it think is more than half of my work motivation , half of the time not knowing what I am doing, so this pretty much sums up my work-life crisis at the moment.
Reason to not quit is because I don’t want to leave the project uncompleted.